This is quite hard to admit but people may or may not have experienced this so hopefully i can redirect from the feeling……So here goes
Back from 2010 i lost my little sister when she was 11 , i felt like for years i wasn’t a good brother. It bothered me for years. Feeling like no one cares. It’s hard to admit but this entire website is built on honesty , i thought about doing as much damage to myself as i could. I’ve been told due to my epilepsy i can’t drink. On several occasions i thought about buying alcohol and doing as much damage to myself, to in a way numb the pain i guess.
I thought about suicide on a few occasions, i felt like just one step infront of car and that will be it. Honestly i hid behind it and let’s be honest as guys do. Try act tough and not show emotion in front of friedns and family. I’ve broke down on several occasions which i’m not embarrassed to say.
The thing that talked me off the ledge was i’ve got a little sister who is now 16 and my older brother who is now 27. My mum had two major strokes in 2015 , i thought how selfish of me. My little sister has lost her big sister and needs someone close to her. After thinking about that. The thoughts just left and i’ve felt fine for years now.
I lost my oldest sister when she was 2 weeks old she will be 29 now , i’m 25 now. Then losing my little sister when she was 11. My mum had 2 major strokes in 2015 I think to myself , our family has been through enough. Let’s not make the pain worse.
Honestly My little sister keeps me going , she’s amazing and she keeps me going. I would do anything to protect her. Also doing this Business keeps me focused and i enjoy doing it. My advise is if your ever feeling beaten up and knocked down. DO NOT keep it locked up. It will do more damage than you can possibly imagine. Speak to Someone weather it’s family or a Doctor etc.
Or find something to put your mind to, i do this so i can help people and not go through what i’ve been through. One thing i wan’t you to think about “The cards we are dealt with may not be the best but it’s how we use them”
